THIS IS 7TH HEAVEN!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sexy 40-something of the Week: Gina Gershon

Gina L. Gershon was born June 10, 1962  in Los Angeles, CA, to Mickey and Stan Gershon. She is Jewish and has a brother Dann and sister Tracy.

She spent her high school years at Beverly Hills High and was a classmate of Lenny Kravitz. After her fours years at B.H. High, she moved East to Boston to continue her schooling at Emerson College. Earlier this year, Vanity Fair reported in a story about her romantic involvement with President Clinton. Gershon told the nation with Regis and Kelly "It is such a crazy, outrageous lie.... I met him three times at events. It disturbed me on so many levels. I felt I had to stand up and say the truth."  

While still at Emerson, she decided to change her major, move to New York and attend NYU to study drama and child psychology. While there, she also attended Circle in the Square Professional Theater School and is a founder of New York based theater group Naked Angels.

Her first movie role came in small form in 1986's Pretty in Pink. From there, she moved on to the sexy, sultry photo journalist with Tom Cruise in Cocktail, a role on Melrose Place and a role in Face/Off with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage.

She is considered a gay icon for her roles in Bound, Prey for Rock & Roll and Showgirls. And why not? She played the role of a lesbian pretty well in each of the three.

But because she is a gay icon of sorts, her sweltering good looks have not gone un-noticed by the men. She was ranked #51 by Maxim in 2004 on their Hot List. If you ask me, she should have been a hell of a lot higher than #51. But that's just me loving those pouty kissers she has.

Gina can also be a little political. On September 10, 2008, she appeared in a video on funnyordie.com parodying former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, titled "Gina Gershon Strips Down Sarah Palin", which she followed by "Gina Gershon Does Sarah Palin 2".

Gina, so very nice to meet you.
 



Monday, November 17, 2008

Cutie of the Week: 2

When I met her, she lived in Illinois. About ten years after that day, she moved to Las Vegas. Now, be it work or her boyfriend, she is living in New York. It's been a few years since I seen her last, and I wish I could see her as often as I used to.
I never dated her. I never even kissed her, and for good reason. Angela was my kid sisters best friend. The two were connected at the hip, I'm not even kidding. So because she was like, an adopted sister, I could have never taken her out for dinner and drinks because I would have never felt comfortable doing any of the things countless other men across the country would love to have done with, or for her.

Enjoy the pics.





Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Shower Pic of the Week: Part 1

This is the first entry for Shower Pic of the Week. Maybe I'll do this again, maybe I wont. Who knows? Surely not me. But then again, I really don't know much. Except for that the Bears have a quarterback who couldn't...oh forget it, it's not even worth it.
Enjoy the pic.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Touch-Up

I've decided that Head of Fred needs a fresh coat of paint. So for the rest of this week, there will not be any new posts. For the seven of you that return each day, come back Monday. I'll give you this for the remainder of the week.




Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Helping out a lady

I'm pretty sure that men around the world would be just as helpful if they faced this situation.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

NSFW: Faked Photos of the Week

You need to realize these are all faked photo's  found by a cat who sent them to me today via email. One idea: Mr. Hefner, get on the phone with these ladies, like, yesterday.

Fake Jessica- Sure J.T. would have no prob with this. She ain't gonna be the good girl from 7th Heaven her whole life.

Fake Evangeline- It would be no problem at all being stuck on an island with her.
Fake Megan- Is she still with the DJ guy from the original 90210?  Fake Britney- After seeing her nude, ah, new video the other day, why the hell not, she's got the body back.

Fake Rachel- Her best friend from the O.C. is dead, Seth and Ryan might be sailing on a boat to Brokeback Mountain and she does need some new friends.

Friday, October 17, 2008

This daughter is grounded.

Most fathers fear for the day that their wife tells them that she took their daughter to the doc to get her on the pill. Most fathers believe that their baby girls are the princess they pretend to be. But most fathers knock on their daughters door before they walk in.

CLICK ON THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WHITE BOX


Dad Busts Daughter Dancing For Webcam - Watch more free videos

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Top Ten things about Wrigley and the Chicago Cubs I want you to know

10. The wire basket in front of the bleachers was installed in 1970 to keep fans from falling or jumping onto the field. This also stopped the drunks, er, fans, from hanging their coats, jackets and pants over the wall. An event that would lead PA Announcer, Pat Pieper, to tell the faithful in the bleachers: "Will the bleacher fans please remove their clothes?"

9. Catching an opponents home run ball. If said event should happen, you, as the catcher of the ball, must automatically rifle it back onto the field. Unless, of course, it is, say, Alex Rodriguez's 800th. Then you need to find security for an escort out of the ball park.

8. The "Hack 191" flag on the roof of Wrigley is there for us to remember the summer of 1930 when Hack Wilson chased 191 players off the bases to score. A record that still stands today. And as I think about it, I'm not too certain the Cubs have scored 191 runs in the combined summers since 1930.

7. The last pitcher to toss a "No-No" for the Cubs was Milt Pappas. He tossed his gem against the San Diego Padres on Sept. 2, 1972. He was just one strike away from throwing a perfect game but Pappas walked Larry Stahl on a 3-2 pitch.

6. The some-bitchin' umpire who called that strike a ball was Bruce Froemming. Blah.

5. The best fit to throw to get tossed from a Cubs game is to kick dirt at an umpire, throw your hat into left field and kick even more dirt at same said umpire. Just like "Sweet Lou" did in '07.

4. The some-bitchin' umpire who said that #5 was a terrible display of disrespect for the game of baseball was, again, Bruce Fucking Froemming! Double blah!!

3. The greatest pitching duel to date at Wrigley was on May 2, 1917 when Jim Vaughn threw heat all day for the Cubbies and Fred Toney, the same, for the Reds. Both pitchers, er, both men, er, both Greek Gods even, threw no hitters into the 10th inning. The double no-no ended when Jim Thorpe belted in the only run of the game to hand the Cubs another loss and Toney the jewel.

2. There is no way possible to claim the greatest moment at Wrigley because there are far too many options here. It should just be called a tie between: Ruth's called shot in Game 3 of the '32 Series, Wood's 20 K's in '98, Sosa's 60 dingers in '98, '99 and '01 and Rose's 4,191st hit*. (I ain't gonna penalize the cat for betting on the game, those bets didn't make him hit the fuckin' ball any better.)

1. The numbers: 10, 14, 23, 26 and 42.


*Santo, Banks, Sandberg, Williams, Robinson

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Meet Triana

She's just prety damn hot!!!!

Triana Iglesias

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Top Ten Future Employment Opps for Jay Mariotti

Ohhhhh, this glorious Friday. The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. The Cubs are kicking ass all over the place. It couldn't be any better of a day. Well, for some I guess it could be. Like Jay. It could, maybe, be a little better for him. I'm sure he doesn't like to see, or hear, three-quarters of the population of Chicago dancing and singing in the streets because he no longer writes for the Chicago Sun-Times. Those folks like Pete Gaines, a long time non-reader because of Mariotti ,who will start reading the paper again.

Jay, if you need help with the job hunt, these following suggestions may be of some help, pal.



10. Web Editor

With his resignation letter to the Chicago Sun-Times on August 26, 2008, Mariotti declared that newspapers are dinosaurs and that his future lies within web sites. Perhaps he will become the new editor for mr.skin or something along those lines.

9. Inventor

Fearing for his safety, as usual, Mariotti will develop a personal protection device made of wood that will stand three feet tall, have several compartments for storage, four legs and hide behind it on a regular basis. Months after he reveals the invention, it will be brought to his attention that "the desk" has been in the public eye for decades.

8. "J" Instructor

Mariotti will become a journalism instructor for Tiny Little Town Junior College in Beezle Bump, Somewhere. On the first day of class, he will hand out an article in which he tells his students he hopes that they will someday write with the greatness he did in the piece distributed to all. When the class meets the following week, the article is handed back to him by one student that has circled all of the "I"s, "me"s and "my"s. After counting the circles, the total is 142. Much like a fellow journalist at the Rocky Mountain News did with a column he wrote while writing for them.

7. Gossip Mag Contributor
The bio section of this page,armchairgm says that "Jay Mariotti is a sportswriter and gossip columnist...". I think that most would agree that with his fear of going into club houses, all he can actually report about is, well, gossip, passed on information from other journalists that aren't affraid of facing the people that they trash talked the day before in their columns. Let him add more to those rags that sit by the registers at Jewel.

6. Boxer

It also states on, armchairgm, that on June 22, 2003, Mariotti threatened Rick Telander of the Sun-Times, an ex-Northwestern footballer who was drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs, by saying, "I would love to punch you", during a game between the Cubs and the White Sox. Telander responded with, "That would be the saddest day of your life," and Chris De Luca, also of the same paper, separated them. Jay, you want to throw hands? I'm pretty sure Kimbo Slice is looking for his next opponent.

5. Civil Rights De-Activist

It is a civil right to have freedom of speech. Perhaps Mariotti doesn't believe in this freedom. Though the original has been taken down, Mariotti once "personally begged [Wikipedia]" to "shut down" an entry about him and they did. But our boys over at http://deadspin.com/ had this link, armchairgm, or even, wikipedia, that looks an awful lot like what Jay may have begged to be taken down.

4. The guy for hearing aide commercials

Maybe Jay should have been using one on this day when he wrote an entire column about something that he thought he heard Rex Grossman say.



3. Real Life Blow Up Doll

In the October 2006 edition of Chicago Magazine, Mariotti told interviewer Dirk Johnson how he felt about the feelings of other Chicago sports journalists toward him: "take your shots at me, all you're doing is making me more famous." Man, if somebody would have told me that my being a dick all the time could make me famous I'd have started being one a whole lot sooner than I did.

2. Starter of Hostile Confrontations

While Jay worked for the Rocky Mountain News, he called Broncos QB John Elway "a greedy and scared punk." All this did was piss off a bunch of Broncos fans that retaliated with promises of death for poor lil' Jay.

http://www.tv.com/jay-mariotti/person/235877/biography.html

1. Contributor for the growth of future sports writers

The way I look at it, if Mariotti isn't going to be making the money that he was to make until 2011 by the Sun-Times, maybe they can work out a deal with, I don't know, TTCS founders for more money? Didn't think so.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

You gotta love the Family

Once upon a time, I used to crawl out of bed at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday mornings. Now, I crawl into bed at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday mornings. But that's beside the point. The reason I used to get up so damn early was to watch every cartoon I could. And now that the Thunder-Thunder-Thundercats and the Smurfs aren't shown, I have grown very fond, almost addicted to Family Guy.







Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This has gotta be an Olympic game soon

Well, we're winning many medals aren't we, what's one more?


http://www.vidivodo.com/77912/trojan-games-vault

Jessica

Just because she's so damn hot.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Top Ten things that will happen "In The Year 2000."

After realizing that he's really got no clue if anybody likes his lists on Friday's, Freddy decides to post a list with no half-clothed, gorgeous females. He'd really appreciate for those, if there are any, readers/viewers of the Friday lists made a comment every now and again. So onto todays list:

I'm sure that most have either heard about or seen the skit done, and repeated, by Conan O'Brien on his show, "In the year 2000." If you've got better things to do at 11:30 p.m., central standard time of course, or have lived on the moon these past eight years, I understand if you haven't. It's just a list of things that Conan is predicting for the year 2000. Oddly enough, it is 2008, and he is still saying, "In the year 2000." Whatever, it's his show and can run it anyway he seems fit. These are my predictions "For the year 2008."

10. After slumping New York Yankees pitcher Kyle Farnsworth intentionally throws at the head of Boston Redsox Manny Ramirez, a bench clearing brawl insues with all players, coaches and managers involved. Julio Lugo bashes LaTroy Hawkins with a water cooler. Coco Crisp is clubbed with a 34-inch bat by Alex Rodriguez. And Johnny Damon and Derek Jeter, both of the Yankees, fight each other for their lifestyle choices: getting married vs. staying single. Farnsworth and Ramirez stand by and watch.

IN THE YEAR 2000

9. An undiscoled amount of syringes, needles and pills are found in the basement of a suburban San Fransico womans home. The woman tells officers at the scene that "a very large fellow asked me to store his belongings" in the basement because he was going to be leaving the city for a period of time. If he was leaving the country was unclear, but the woman stated that the man said something about "Not going to Cooperstown unless he got some things cleaned up."

IN THE YEAR 2000

8. Chicago Whitesox fans finally realize that the last time they won a World Series was three seasons ago and move on with their lives and stop saying, "Oh yeah, well when was the last time your Cubs won a series?" to try and make whatever point they're trying to make more meaningful.

IN THE YEAR 2000

7. Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi compete once again. They play as doubles and take on Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova. After winning the first set, Agassi becomes angry at Sampras, stating that he's got a better view of Ivanovic's and Sharapova's asses then he does.

IN THE YEAR 2000

6. Julio Franco, 49-years old, finally retires from major league baseball. A week later, substantial evidence is provided to the main offices of MLB and is determined by the league commisioner that Franco is actually 87-years old and has been using HGH and other undisclosed narcotics to defy the aging process for the last 50 years.

IN THE YEAR 2000

5. Glen Allen Hill's home run ball that was hit onto the roof top of a building across the street from Wrigley Field on May 11, 2000, makes its way onto the infield grass of Wrigley. Nobody knows where it comes from, it just appears. The guy who caught the ball atop that five story building on the other side of Waveland said that he threw it back 10-seconds after catching it. All this proves is that there is indeed, a space time continum.

IN THE YEAR 2000

4. The cloning process of humans is finally completed and made possible to the general public. Immediately, owners of clubs across the land clone the best players of all time for their respected franchises. The Bears clone Payton. The Whitesox clone Fisk. The Cubs clone Sandberg. The Hawks clone Chellios. The Bulls clone Jordan. And in true cloning fashion, he still can't play baseball.

IN THE YEAR 2000

3. The Blackhawks Ice Crew is offered the opportunity to be in Playboy. Immediately after winning the "Ice Girl Challenge" for the sexiest ice girls for teams in the NHL, all 139 hockey fans across the nation pre-order a copy for themselves. Playboy founder Hugh Hefner declares bankruptcy after publication, citing that he put almost everything he had into the issue he was sure would be the publications #1 all time seller because of one of the Blackhawk rookie ice crew members. But he didn't realize that nobody really watches the game.

IN THE YEAR 2000

2. After a woman is put in office to govern the nation, either as President or Vice, women are urged to play for the NFL and make it a friendlier game. After almost scoring a touchdown on her first play from scrimmage, the lone female in football quits because her cleats dont compliment her eyes.

IN THE YEAR 2000

1. After 100-years of disappointing seasons and failed voyages to the promised land, the Chicago Cubs finally win the World Series. To show appreciation to the faithful, Tribune Company owner Sam Zell declares that he will change the name of Wrigley Field to "The Zell". He then takes all credit for the team winning the series. Civil protest breaks out and the entire portion of Chicago, north of Roosevelt road, breaks free from the rest of Chicago and declares itself the "City of Wrigley." They elect Ryan Sandberg mayor and send out a group of mercenary's for Zell himself. After finding him they dip him in concrete and place the statue next to Harry Carry at Addison and Waveland. If you look at it the right way, in the right sun, you see Caray bitch slapping Zell.

In the year 2000.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Top Ten Reasons the Cubs will, again, sweep the White Sox

A long, long time ago...I can still remember how my pop and I would scream, yell and throw empty PBR cans at each other while watching the Cubs play the Whitesox before MLB started this AL vs. NL shit. My dad is my best friend, but when it came to that one day a year his Sox would battle my Cubs, we were more against each other than God fearin' Christians and radical Liberals could have ever been. On the day of the Crosstown Classic/Red Line Series, we wouldn't speak to each other until first pitch. And when that was finally delivered, put the women and children to bed, 'cause it got pretty god damned ugly between us. But now, his Sox are playing pretty well and my Cubs are surprising the hell outta' everybody. And staring today, my Cubbies will attempt to make it a clean sweep on the year against their Southside foes. These are my reasons why the Northsider's will sweep the Sox.


10. Scoring
The Cubs have crossed the plate 43 more times than the White Sox. Now, the Northsider's have had 81 more at bats than the Southsider's, but our pitchers have to stand in the box. The Sox have a washed up douche bag to take hacks for their pitchers.

9. Going Yard
The White Sox have belted 102 homers this season so far, the Cubs, 89. Meaning only that the Sox think about the long ball way too often. When you think of only hitting for the fences, more times than not, your ass is gonna pop out to the third baseman. When it comes down to it, small ball will win you games. The Cubbies got this down to a T.

8. Getting On
Cubs batters have driven in 33 more runners than Sox batters. Meaning, to me, that Cubs players have reached base 33 more times than Sox players. You can only score if you reach base. And, well, the Sox don't do that all too well it seems.

7. Gotta Score
There are three bases and one plate on every ball diamond around the world. And the Cubs have touched 75 more bases than the Sox have this year. To me, this means that the Northsider's get more hits to touch these bases. And more hits mean more runs. More runs means more wins.

6. Swinging the Stick
Of the top 30 batting averages in the majors, three Cubs are on the list (Theriot-.316, Ramirez-.303,Fukudome-.299). The bitch who catches for the Sox is the highest Southsider on the list at .297, meaning we hit the ball much better on the Northside.

5. You Closing Your Eyes?
The "Power Hitter" from South of Roosevelt Rd., Thome, has struck out 70 times this year. That's five times more than the Cubs strikeout leader Geovany Soto. I guess the "swing and a miss" will happen when all you think about is hitting the long ball.

4. Gettin' On
At .405 (Ramirez), .404 (Fukudome) and .391 (Theriot), the Cubs reach base more often than the Sox do. Quentin's .390 is the highest OBP for the Sox. With more guys reaching base, the better than chance of scoring runs. Ya' need runs to win games. If there ain't anybody on base, ya' ain't gonna score runs.

3. Keepin' it Simple
Keeping the ball on the ground is key to winning games as well. If a batter pops out every time at the dish he does nothing good for his team. Ryan Theriot doesn't have this problem. 114 times so far this season, he has grounded out to one of the players on the infield. Joe Crede, on the other hand, has popped out/flew out 100 times to players of the opposing team. Meaning that the Sox can't play small ball and dream about going yard each and every time.

2. Sweet Home Chicago
The Cubs are almost unbeatable at home. They are 33-9 while playing at the Friendly Confines. The Sox stand at 24-11 at the Cell. And I understand that the team I bleed Cubbie Blue for is going to the Southside this weekend, it's still Chicago. It's home, away from home. My boys will, once again, sweep the Sox this weekend with a couple two-tree homers by Aramis and Lee.

1. Loyalty
'Cause I hate the Sox.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Top Ten Sports Joints in Wrigley

So, this weekend in Chicago, will be, what I can only imagine the Olympics being like if we actually got the nod to host them here. No, no, no. I don't mean the countless number of amazing athletes who would be within the Windy City, nor do I speak of the magnificent match-ups between this country and that country on the soccer field, basketball court or swimming pool. What I'm actually talking about is the ridiculous amount of partying that will ensue outside of the Friendly Confines this weekend after the Cubs take on the White Sox in the Windy City Classic, and or, The Red Line Series. Kind of like what Matty said yesterday, this weekend all friends/family members who aren't with you in supporting the team of your choice become your foes that you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. This weekend will be a tough one. Everybody finds out what color they bleed this weekend with the games on hand. But it runs much deeper than supporting the Cubs or the White Sox, doesn't it? Yes it does. You might decide which candidate you will support for the election this year. And you might decide what the name of your first born child will be while sitting in the bleachers. But a much harder question will arise in your mind. Like where the hell are you gonna go to celebrate after the game.

Now that we've the topic in mind, these are the Top Ten Sports Bars in Wrigley to celebrate a Cubbie victory or, I've got to be honest with this, drown the tears of a loss.

(And yes, I know that this will read like an advertisement for these places, but it's not. And if Dub's can promote his hobby on Vineline in each of his posts here, well, I can do the same thing.)



10. The Dugout-950 W. Addison St.
This is the closest bar to the Friendly Confines on this list. It is,literally, a hop, skip and jump away from the home of the Lovable Losers. But that name might change at seasons end. Anyway, this whole in the wall can make for a pretty good time. Sit at the bar and checkout the baseball cards set beneath the spot to rest your beer or watch the game on their plasmas. Scarf down a pretzel with cheese or a plate of nachos. But I warn you, if you're there on a day they are holding a hot dog eating competition, stay outta the way of the competitors, they can get a little unruly.

9. Cubby Bear- 1059 W. Addison St.
Right out the front door of the ball park. O.K. I rescind #10. This might be the closest bar to Wrigley. The 30,000 square feet of space this place is made of is packed tighter than a HEY...KEEP IT CLEAN. Sorry about that. The place is always full after games and rivals with Murphy's for most famous bar to drink at after a Cubs win. You might find a live band rockin' out or a DJ spinning some of today's best.

8. Red Ivy- 3525 N. Clark St.
A relative new comer to the area, Red Ivy is more of an upscale sports bar than the others on this list. It surely is a sports fan bar though. Within the 6,000 feet of drinking and dining space there are seven 42-inch plasmas, three 60-inchers and one giant 90-inch projection t.v. to catchall of the action. Oh yeah, they also have t.v.'s in the bathroom so when you're draining the lizard, you won't miss Ted Lilly's heater to the chin of any White Sox player.

7. Vines on Clark- 3554 N. Clark St.
The kid brother bar to its neighbor to the North, Vines is brought to Cubs fans from the same guys who do Cubby Bear. This place is where you need to be if you want to drink outside. A huge street level beer garden, an open aired patio and a roof top bar/deck can fill the need for sun and drink.

6. Houndstooth- 3438 N. Clark St.
To some, this may not qualify as a sports bar. But anyplace that gives mad cred to Bear Bryant qualifies as a sports joint to me. The Southern feel to this place will comfort you and the Southern style food made in the kitchen will bring you back again and again. Or maybe it will just be the fine drinks whipped up for you by the cute bartender (Lacey) wearing a jean skirt and cowboy boots. I'll leave that for you to decide.

5. Murphy's Bleachers- 3655 N. Sheffield Ave.
Murphy's bleeds Cubbie love. And so do the fans that pack this place to the ceiling before, during and after every home game. It's a big sized place with open-air for all to enjoy. Try the homemade soup of the day or the chili while sitting atop their roof trying to steal a peak of the game across the street.

4. Bernies- 3664 N. Clark St.
Season ticket holders, a few announcers and even a couple two-tree players frequent this pub before and after the games. This place is so Cubs driven, the regulars set up trips to spring training out in Mesa each year. Sip up some suds in the bar or out in the back in their beer garden while enjoying a nice friendly game of Corn Hole/Bean Bags. Why can't we all decide on just one name for this damn game?

3. Sluggers- 3540 N. Clark St.
Sluggers has been described by some as being a "neighborhood sports baron steroids." And I'm pretty sure I'd agree with that. You can drink and dance 'till ya puke on the first floor, atop one of the dueling pianos if you wish, and try your luck at hitting a heater in the second floor batting cages until 3 AM on Saturdays. Or you can drop coins to play video games, pool or mini-bowling. It's kinda like a Chuck E. Cheese for 21-26 year old kids.

2. Mullens- 3527 N. Clark St.
Doesn't matter if it's Matty or Karl behind the bar, Mullens is the place for Cubs fans to belly up to the bar and enjoy a cold one after a game and eat some good 'ol pub grub. TRY THE WINGS!!! From throwing darts to having a quick 18 on the course (I can't remember what that friggin' golf game in bars is called for some reason), the fun that happens in this pub, named after Jim Mullen-a Chicago police officer wounded by gunfire, is worth waiting in line for. Slip JP a fiver and you might have a quicker entrance.

1. Merkles-3516 N. Clark St.
Opened in December '04, in the old Billy Goat Tavern. This place has it all, food, drinks and women. What else is needed to celebrate kicking the shit outta the White Sux, er, White Sox? "Big D's" homemade burgers, zesty wings and, quite possibly, the best tasting chicken sandwich on the street, will have you returning every time the Cubs are playing at home. Everybody, and I do mean EVERYBODY, who steps into this place will leave feeling a little bit better about their day. If it isn't the women (Amy, Courtney, Shannon, Shauna, Megan, Lauren) delivering trays of "Bootie Call" fish bowls or the talented women (Mary Beth, Beth) pouring drinks from behind the bar, it might be the voice of Chris Buehrle singing from the front window or the guys in the back blasting critters on the hunting game. (And now I've lost memory of this friggin' game.)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Top Ten Harry Caray Quotes

For years and years and years, saying that I was a Chicago Cub fan would get me a collective sigh from those around. And saying those words would also get plenty to say: "I'm sorry", "Are those guys ever gonna win?" and "Oh, you like the Lovable Losers." And I'd always tell the people who spoke such, that my Cubbies would win someday, and that I'd be a fan for life. But I'm not gonna lie, there were times that I did almost jump ship and not look back. These times weren't when the bums South of Roosevelt Rd. won their championship a few years back. And now, in a time that gives Cub fans around the world such excitement and anticipation for the rest of the Summer to play out, I must do two things:

1. Apologize to all the faithful whom have always believed that "this year, is gonna be our year." And to those who've never thought of changing their hearts for any other team. And to the one who used to watch day baseball every day from her living room in Joliet as she told me that the Cubs would win it all someday. And when that day did come, I was to celebrate for her, because she knew that she wouldn't be around to see it. (We'll get it for ya' Grandma.)

2. Have all Cubs fans to declare openly, and proudly, that we, the people, whom bleed Cubbie blue and cry Old Style tears, will stand by our Cubbies through thick and thin, through good times and bad, and wait patiently for the celebration to begin. And when it does, we the people, are to scream from the bar tops of Wrigley with uncontainable glory, and cry with happiness as the 27th out is made during game seven of the World Series and to drink until we can't possibly consume one more drop of beer five days after the season has ended. And when the celebration is done, to go and visit, with plenty of more cold beer of course, our good friend who rests at All Saints Cemetery in Des Plaines, Illinois.

Because if it wasn't for our old pal Harry, we would have never believed so long that the Cubbies were gonna win it someday. And we would have never heard him confuse players names like "Jim Sandberg", "Ryne Sanderson" or "Scott Sundberg", like he did during the '87 season when Ryne Sandberg, Jim Sundberg and Scott Sanderson were all proudly on the roster. Nor would we have ever heard the man, who loved unusual names, try to pronounce names backwards.

Harry, this one's for you, bud.


10. “You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.”
And, well, Harry was right. Sure, the club he joined after the 1984 season, the year the Cubs had only won 38 games, had a lot of work to do to improve, but he knew it wouldn't get worse than that year.

9. "Aw, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico."
Never known to be very P.C. when broadcasting, Harry told it how it was. If somebody would make comments like he used to on the radio today, they would probably be the last thing that person ever said on the air. Imagine: "And here comes the grounds crew out to cover the field with the tarp, we'll be under delay now. And, ya know Len, I'm glad these guys are getting onto the field now, laying the tarp. I mean, after they realized that they couldn't cut it as players, at least they can get on the field this way and help them to live up to their dream."

8. "I've only been doing this fifty-four years. With a little experience, I might get better."
From '45-'69, Caray called games for the St. Louis Cardinals, spent one year with the Oakland Athletics, 16-years with the White Sox and 15 with the Cubs. He also called games for Missouri Tigers football, St. Louis University-Billiken basketball, the Boston Celtics and St. Louis Hawks Basketball teams and three Cotton Bowls. Yeah Harry, you could of used just a bit more practice.

7. "Oh, I get a little tired now and then, but knowing my lifestyle, that's only natural."
Harry was 83-years old when he left us. But not for a minute, did he ever let his age take
issue with his love for a good time. If it was sipping cold ones in the booth, or stripping down
to his shorts to beat the heat, Harry was always there to give us, the fans, everything he could.


6. "They (Expos fans) discovered 'boo' is pronounced the same in French as it is in English."
He was always a joker. He looked at baseball, and he saw a game. It was something that
people could go out to enjoy and have a good time. It wasn't anything more to him.

5. "This has been the remarkable thing about the fans in Chicago, they keep drawing an average of a million-three a year, and, when the season's over and they've won their usual seventy-one games, you feel that those fans deserve a medal."
He was always so worried if the fans were having a good time or not. If the stands had 1,386 people sitting in 'em, drinking piss warm beer and eating hot dogs with ketchup and his Cubs were leading 17-2 or the place was packed, all the beer consumed and not a single dog left in the place and we were losing 10-3, as long as the fans were having a good time, Harry was happy.

4. "I figure I had no business being here this long anyway, so what do you care how old I am? I've been on borrowed time for years. You know my old saying: live it up, the meter's running. I've always said that if you don't have fun while you're here, then it's your fault. You only get to do this once."
Maybe just the best bit of advice anybody could give, and or, receive.

3. "Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?"
-Booze? With all the bars around the Friendly Confines, booze is taken care of.
-Broads? Have you seen the competition that the Sun-Times is holding to decide which team has the best looking female fans? Broads are taken care of as well.
-Bullshit? It's been 100 long and tiring years with morons running the team, from both the field and the front offices. We got plenty of bullshit.

2. "When I die, I hope they don't cremate me 'cuz I'll burn forever.”
Sadly, in a restaurant in Palm Springs, enjoying a meal with his wife Dutchie for Valentine's Day,
Harry had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital but never regained consciousness and died four days later.

1. "I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air...So I trained myself to say 'Holy Cow' instead.”
If this were truly the case, which I'm sure it was, Harry would have swore alot. It seemed that every time he spoke, there was at least one "Holy Cow" in every phrase.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Caray
http://mlb.mlb.com/chc/history/season_records.jsp

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Gable Was So Damn Good.

When I was 10-years old, a 5th grader at Channahon Jr. High School, I served the only detention assignment I ever received by Ms. Perkins, the teacher who thought I was goofing around with a Bunson burner. Because of that hour and 15 minutes I was forced to spend with the creepy librarian after school that day, I missed the first day of basketball practice. Not wanting to be the kid who was a day behind in drills, I opted for the only other sport going on at the time, wrestling. But I knew nothing about the sport except Hulk Hogan was the man and Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka could jump off the top rope and come damn close to the other side of the ring before crashing his head into the poor sap lying on the mat beneath him. I was so angry at that woman for punishing me for igniting the burner and I promised myself that I would, some day, get her back for making me miss the first day of practice, making me take part in a sport I knew nothing about. The next week, wrestling started, and on the first day, our coach asked us all what we wanted from the sport. Some said they wanted to be in the WWF someday. Others said they wanted to beat people up. But one of us sitting on the mat said he wanted to be like Gable. Besides him and the coaches, nobody else knew who Gable was. But for the next eight years, the day I sat with the librarian never crossed my mind again as I found that crushing noses with devilish cross faces and popping shoulders out of sockets with an arm bar or a double chicken wing was much more enjoyable than sinking a free throw or draining a three ever could have been, so thanks Ms. Perkins and I'm going to let you decide which answer is correct for the following question: What is wrestling?


A: Wrestling is a sport in which two unarmed opponents grapple with one another and try to secure a fall, i.e., cause the opponent to lose balance and fall to the mat, and ultimately pin the supine opponent's shoulders to it, through the use of body grips, strength, and adroitness.

B: A fake sport on television, loaded with monstrous men and scantly clad women, who are more often than not, complete knock-outs. The women not the men.

C: When two guys wear tight outfits and touch each other as they roll around on the floor for all to observe.

If you chose C, you don't know shit. If you're answer was B, well, you're kinda right but not totally. And if you chose A, congrats, you just won a button.

Dan Gable is the man who, still to this day, is the best wrestler and/or wrestling coach ever to step onto a mat. And these just may be the ten reasons why he was so damn good.

10.
In 1963, Dan Gable began his wrestling career. Though he wasn't allowed to wrestle on the varsity level his freshman year, for the next three three years he went undefeated, 64-0, and won three state championships, which gained him a scholarship to the University of Iowa, the toughest wrestling program in the country.
"Right out of high school I never had the fear of getting beat, which is how most people lose."-Gable

9.
During the summer months between his high school graduation and his first day of college, Gable trained with Bob Buzzard. Buzzard had won a pair of Big Eight (the old school Big Ten) wrestling titles and wanted to help Gable become better. There were days that Buzzard would crush Gable on the mat, and days that he'd fool around and let the young boy make some moves on him. But on their last day of training together, Buzzard decided to show Gable, beside his three state titles in high school, he had a ways to go to make it on the college level. After that day of training, Gable fell with tears of disappointment in himself.
"I vowed I wouldn't ever let anyone destroy me again. I was going to work at it every day, so hard that I would be the toughest guy in the world. By the end of practice, I wanted to be physically tired, to know that I'd been through a workout. If I wasn't tired, I must have cheated somehow, so I stayed a little longer."-Gable

8.
He pushed his body to its limit. He pushed his body passed its limit. He wouldn't let himself enjoy all the nice things others enjoyed. He had a dedication, a love even, for being the best. And even though he was the best, he never let himself feel that he was the best. He was an offensive wrestler at all times. He would always attack and didn't wait for his opponent to do such. And never, did he give an opponenet a second to relax or counter any of his attacks.
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score."-Gable

7.
After graduation, he attended the greatest wrestling college in the country, University of Iowa, and continued his dominance on the mat by going 118-1, improving his career wrestling record to 182-1, with two national championships. His only defeat came in the NCAA finals his senior year, losing to Larry Owings, a sophomore from the University of Washington. Owings cut weight to wrestle Gable at the tournament. At the end of the first period, Gable trailed 7-2. He rallied to tie the match at 8 apiece by the end of the second. But he ended up losing 13-11 for the only loss of his wrestling career.
"All I worried about was what (Owings) was doing to me, instead of what I was doing to him. When you start worrying about that stuff, you're going down the wrong path.”-Gable

6.
After graduating from U of I, he trained heavily for the Olympics. For three years, he trained seven hours a day, rain, shine or snow, everyday of the week. He climbed ropes to build his strength and endurance, ran up and down stairs with teammates on his back, ran non stop for cardio and, obviously, still practiced his wrestling techniques.
"When I lifted weights, I didn't lift just to maintain my muscle tone. I lifted to increase what I already had, to push to a new limit. Every time I worked, I was getting a little better. I kept moving that limit back and back. Every time I walked out of the gym, I was a little better than when I walked in."-Gable

5.
Even though his college wrestling days were over, he still trained. He trained for the titles he won at the '71 Pan American Games, the '72 Tbilisi Tournament, the '71 World Championships and the six Midlands Open Championships he was victorious in. It was a beautiful dominance by maybe the most dedicated athlete ever.
"Gold medals aren't really made of gold. They're made of sweat, determination and a hard-to-find alloy called guts."-Gable

4.
In 1972, Gable tore cartilage in his left knee and refused a doctors recommendation of surgery. He kept practicing and changed his style of wrestling from offensive to defensive-offensive. Then the '72 Olympics began. These games were the games the Russian's vowed to find a man to beat Gable. They failed. And so did every other country who had a man facing Gable on the mat. Gable won the gold medal, without allowing a single point to any of the opponents he faced. Bobby Douglas, the Hall of Fame Iowa State coach, compared Gable's dominance to "that of a major league pitcher throwing 3 no-hitters in a single World Series...it just never happens."
"The 1st period is won by the best technician. The 2nd period is won by the kid in the best shape. The 3rd period is won by the kid with the biggest heart."-Gable.

3.
After he had finished his years of dominance on the mat, Gable dominated from the edge of it. Over his 21-year coaching career, his teams won 15 National Championships, nine of which were consecutive. His overall career dual meet record as a coach is 284-16, perhaps making him the coach with the greatest win percentage of all time.
"More enduring than any other sport, wrestling teaches self-control and pride. Some have wrestled without great skill - none have wrestled without pride.”-Gable

2.
He was a true coach. He didn't let his wrestlers slack. He pushed them all just as hard as he pushed himself all those years. If a wrestler wasn't up for it, they weren't expected to return. Gable wanted purity for the sport. With a coaching record like the one he holds, I'm pretty sure his wrestlers followed him. He wouldn't let anything hold his men back.
"But we've got to work. We can't just live on reputations at all-by any means.”-Gable.

1.
Perhaps the reasoning behind Gable's determination to be the best wrestler in the World as we know it, to be so driven to be the best, and to destroy every opponent, but one, over his entire career, is this: In 1964, Gable, then a 16-year old sophomore, went with his family on a fishing trip over the Memorial Day weekend. His sister Diane, 19, didn't want to go and stayed home for. Upon the return of the family to their home in Waterloo, Iowa, the family discovered that Diane had been sexually assaulted and murdered. Gable remembered a one time friend of Diane's who once had said he was interested in her named Tom Kyle. Kyle confessed to Diane's murder and assault and was sentenced to life in prison. But the loss of his big sister turned Gable into a machine who was obsessed with wrestling.
"Once you've wrestled, everything else in life is easy."-Gable.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Top Ten Big Lebowki Ideas for Life.

Football. Check. Baseball. Check. Hockey. Check. Bowling. Uh.......check.

Once upon a time, when I wasn't too busy ruining the credibility of this sport blog, (Thanx anonymous guy who comments on my Friday lists) that is done by a group of guys who "have no credibility" (thanx Giangreco), I wanted to be a bowler. As a kid, I was alright. As a teen, I was a lil' better. And now as an adult, the only thing I worry about while bowling is where I parked my car and who it is that's with my ex a couple two-tree lanes down. But if I were "the Dude", I wouldn't have a care in the World, now would I? And to have everything in my life to be so understandable, with people always there to help me up when I fall and guide me in the right direction wouldn't be too bad of a thing either. Perhaps this film is more than a funny movie about a Dude and his rug, but instead, how to live a life? And for those of you who can't, won't or don't accept the fact that bowling is a sport, well, I'll let Walter deal with you later. My Top Ten moments of The Big Lebowski.

10. Every Dude

Dude, could you only imagine how, like, easy it would be, dude, to call everybody that you knew dude? Dude, you would never have a problem with remembering any dude's name, dude. It, would be awesome, dude.

9. The scary guy everybody wonders about.

You've all seen him. That one cat who everybody is scared to talk to because he appears to be a little different. Or a lot different. and then it's a good thing you didn't talk to him.


8.The friends who are always there for you.

We've all got these guys. The ones who'll bust your ass every chance the get, but when it really comes down to it, they'll be the guy who is standing right next to your ass before a fight breaks out.

7.The guy who thinks he's better than you.

Come on, no matter how good we were, or still are, at anything, there always will be that one douche bag who feels that he is better than you on his worst day. Cock suckers.

6.Everybody has those weird feelings

The weird feelings that somebody is watching you, or following you through the store or some other crazy shit like that. No, Danny, not the weird feeling you get when you see me eating peanuts in the shell.

5.That hot girl

You've all seen her. That smoking hot beauty waiting in line in front of you at the store. Or in the car next to you at the red light. And you've all wished that the girl would say something along the lines of what Bunny says in the movie. But, all you get is "Are you looking at my tits, asshole?" Making us all learn the lesson to always wear sunglasses.

4.The old smart guy

And all of us have, or have had, this guy in our lives. Could have been your dad, you uncle, a buddies dad or the weird guy who lived behind your house growing up. These old cats always know what's best for us, so shut up and listen when Clark is speaking to you Dubs.

3. Challenges

We'll face many throughout our lives, some harder than others to deal with. Whatever the case, don't back down from a thing, especially guys like Jesus.

2.Remember the rules

Always, in life and in sport, play by the rules. Cheating ain't worth it because 20 years down the road, when you look at the pictures of you having the state championship medal placed around your neck, you'll remember that you should have lost that championship match, but ya' didn't 'cause you're a cheating shit bag.

1. Always remember who you are

No matter how good you get at anything, remember that you didn't go it alone. There have always been people that pushed you when you stopped (Mom and Dad), those who laughed when you lost and made you so pissed you worked much harder and got much better just to beat their ass (Egglund) and convinced you to do whatever it was that you wanted your life to become. (You know who you are.)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Top Ten Sexiest Sports Reporters

People have said that women who work as broadcast sports reporters, only have the jobs that they hold to draw the attention of male viewers to the networks they respectively work for. It couldn't be that these women actually have a love for the sports that they cover. Nor could it be that these women have a knowledge of the game better than that of most of the disgruntled arm-chair quarterbacks who graduated high school in '86 and still wear their letter man jackets to the family owned grocery on the corner of Ridge and Waubonsie roads. I leave that for you to decide, but these are my Top Ten Sexiest Sports Reporters.

10. Mieke Buchan

Since her re-location to the United States from some far-and-away land, Buchan has continued to cover the world’s largest sports and entertainment events on networks including, but not limited to: ABC, ESPN, Fox Sports Net, National Geographic, Encore, and the Tennis Channel. Buchan has co-hosted the last five Super Bowl broadcasts from the field.

9. Lindsay Czarniak

O.K. so there are obviously question as to if NASCAR is actually a sport. And I have an answer. A sport, to me, includes mental and physical strength, a diverse plan of attack and, well, gorgeous women. So with the conditions drivers deal with week in and week out (dehydration and death even=physical), deciding how far their car can travel, on both a certain amount of fuel and the last time the tires were changed (=mental) and sexy Lindsay reporting from the garages at tracks across the country, NASCAR is definitely a sport.

8. Lindsey Soto

Lindsey seems to do it all. She has done assignments which have included: Sideline reporter for USC/UCLA football games, the Los Angeles Avengers, the Los Angeles Sparks, host of Southern California Sports Report, host of L.A. Times High School Spotlight and host of USC Sports Magazine Show, among other programs. Could she possibly be more busy?

7. Ashley Russell

Ashley hosts Rivals.com, "Rivals Minute" and talks for more than two minutes each time. I don't really understand why the show is called "Rivals Minute". Any-who, she makes this list because of her sporting knowledge and her love for.....love for Notre Dame? (TTCS side: Freddy does not, nor will he ever, like Notre Dame.)

6. Sarah Kustok

Chicago's own went to Carl Sandburg High School and DePaul University to shoot hoops and now reports for Comcast News. Besides all that, she is pretty good lookin'. If you couldn't tell, she's my Chicago link this week.

5. Jillian Barberie

I’m not sure if I can really call her a sideline hottie, though she’s undeniably a hottie, (in a dirty girl sort of way) but because of fear that she'd come to Chicago and whoop my ass. But in a way that even I don't understand, I might kinda enjoy it. Jillian used to do the weather before kickoffs on Fox NFL Sundays before the games.

4. Erin Bates

Erin joined SPEED’s AMA Supercross broadcast team for the 2006-07 season as a pit reporter. Her life in motorcycle racing began as a trophy girl for the International Freestyle Motocross Association but quickly moved behind a microphone and became a co-host for the FMX tour. Since 2003, she has been a live announcer for Supercross and a pit reporter for AMA Supermoto and AMA Motocross. If you need to know what the AMA Supercross, I.F.M.A or the FMX Tour are, look it up on the net, I don't know either.

3. Ines Sainz

Seriously, how many sport reporters get interviewed by other sport reporters at a sporting event? Sainz handles sideline soccer duties at TV Azteca for the masses any chance she has. It seems that most people, both men and women, who have posted anything about her on the web have come to the same conclusion: smoking hot body, greatest bum in the world, but her face ain't too good. I'm sorry previous posters, Freddy the Mercenary does not agree with your outlandish remarks. Here is the reasoning behind the two pic's of my #3: According to rightpundits.com, "It takes Ines Sainz 3 hours to prep for a game: 6 minutes studying news reports and 2 hours, 54 minutes squeezing her ass into those jeans." 'Nuff said?

2. Leeann Tweeden

Tweeden-works for FoxSports.net and is a regular contributor to their Best Damn Sports Show Period. She works the sidelines at games, dates athletes and visits the troops overseas. In a few words, this woman is awesome. She has modeled for promotional work for Hooters and Venus International along with Frederick’s of Hollywood and Playboy. She currently works as the co-host of FoxSports "Mansionpoker.net Poker Dome Challenge". Again with the questions, is poker really a sport? See #9.

1. Erin Andrews

For a woman who has been so obviously busy in the world of sports, where the hell have I been?Hearing of Andrews, 29, as the "bee's knee's" of women in the sports reporting world, and having absolutely no clue who she was, made me question myself as both a journalist, and a man. I now understand why my fellow TTCS posters and three-quarters of the other guys we work with voted her #1. How pitiful was I to have never noticed this brilliant beauty on the sidelines? I didn't even know that Playboy magazine, in 2007, named her their own Sexiest Sports Reporter of the year. Sorry for being ignorant of your being Erin. She has covered games for the NHL, MLB, ESPN College Football Saturday, Saturday Primetime college basketball and the Great Outdoor Games. And she looks damn good in orange, if I do say so myself.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Top Ten Reasons to join Bushwood Country Club

I've been around for thirty years, 10,950 days, give 'er take a couple leap years. And I've heard far too many seventh inning "Take me out to the ball game" songs butchered. And seen too many "I can't dance to save my ass" touch down dances. And again, too many of this, that or the other things at any sporting event to celebrate something that kids since the age of six have been doing for fun the entire lives.

But golf. The beautiful game that I've never played, beside a fist pump or somebody falling onto the shortly trimmed grass on hole 18 at Augusta after winning, there isn't too much craziness in the game. That is, unless of course, your playing at Bushhwood.


10. Outstanding Upkeep



Here at Bushhwood, we prefer to play, in both game and life, in the cleanliest possible way. Beside the remarkable beauty of our holes, each day the swimming pool is drained, scrubbed and sanitized for you pleasure.


9. Great Relationships



Growing up, all young men need a leader, a mentor if you will. At Bushwood, no matter what problem any young man may be having, there is always somebody that he can look to for guidance and assistance. If you'll be hitting the links all day to smoke stogies and drain pints of Grolsh with your boys and have no time to spend with your son, there will be no problem with letting him share time with our personal assistant Ty.

8. World Wisdom



Where else can you find people that are so well traveled to help you with your game? Sure, Carl is just a grounds keeper, but the cat has seen and been through a lot and appears to have no problem with lending his knowledge to the youth of the club.

7. Dedication



Beside being full of knowledge, Carl is also dedicated to making everybody's experience at Bushwood wonderful. Sure, he might get carried away from time to time and appear to be doing things that he should never be doing, but he does it all for the love of the game, baby.

6. Strong morales



And if you do decide to join Bushwood, and we're sure you will, if there are ever any legal issues you need dissolved, we have a lawer ready and willing to assist you with your case.

5. Family atmosphere



At times you, or any member of your family, might not know exactly what's going on in life, much like Ty, but hey, everybody has bad days. As a member, all other members are your family and can be relied upon to assist with anything.

4. Fun atmosphere



Bushwood is indeed a fun atmosphere, but remember to always be safe. Just because you're playing the gentleman's game, doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared for anything, and or, everything at all times.

3. Friendly environment



It's a very open and friendly golf community, Bushwood is. A place where doors are left open for everybody and "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" does indeed apply. If you need something, ask. If we've got it, we'll give it. No questions asked.

2. Strong course up-keep



Bushwood prides itself in its beautiful courses. We keep them beautiful year round for your playing experience. If there is anything, we mean ANYTHING, that can be done to contribute to a better playing community, let us know and it shall be done. *There shall be no rodents at Bushwood.

1. Fulfill your dreams





After you've played a round or a dozen, and your game has significantly improved, who's to say that it wont be you that wins the Master's next year.

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