Thursday, October 9, 2008

Top Ten things about Wrigley and the Chicago Cubs I want you to know

10. The wire basket in front of the bleachers was installed in 1970 to keep fans from falling or jumping onto the field. This also stopped the drunks, er, fans, from hanging their coats, jackets and pants over the wall. An event that would lead PA Announcer, Pat Pieper, to tell the faithful in the bleachers: "Will the bleacher fans please remove their clothes?"

9. Catching an opponents home run ball. If said event should happen, you, as the catcher of the ball, must automatically rifle it back onto the field. Unless, of course, it is, say, Alex Rodriguez's 800th. Then you need to find security for an escort out of the ball park.

8. The "Hack 191" flag on the roof of Wrigley is there for us to remember the summer of 1930 when Hack Wilson chased 191 players off the bases to score. A record that still stands today. And as I think about it, I'm not too certain the Cubs have scored 191 runs in the combined summers since 1930.

7. The last pitcher to toss a "No-No" for the Cubs was Milt Pappas. He tossed his gem against the San Diego Padres on Sept. 2, 1972. He was just one strike away from throwing a perfect game but Pappas walked Larry Stahl on a 3-2 pitch.

6. The some-bitchin' umpire who called that strike a ball was Bruce Froemming. Blah.

5. The best fit to throw to get tossed from a Cubs game is to kick dirt at an umpire, throw your hat into left field and kick even more dirt at same said umpire. Just like "Sweet Lou" did in '07.

4. The some-bitchin' umpire who said that #5 was a terrible display of disrespect for the game of baseball was, again, Bruce Fucking Froemming! Double blah!!

3. The greatest pitching duel to date at Wrigley was on May 2, 1917 when Jim Vaughn threw heat all day for the Cubbies and Fred Toney, the same, for the Reds. Both pitchers, er, both men, er, both Greek Gods even, threw no hitters into the 10th inning. The double no-no ended when Jim Thorpe belted in the only run of the game to hand the Cubs another loss and Toney the jewel.

2. There is no way possible to claim the greatest moment at Wrigley because there are far too many options here. It should just be called a tie between: Ruth's called shot in Game 3 of the '32 Series, Wood's 20 K's in '98, Sosa's 60 dingers in '98, '99 and '01 and Rose's 4,191st hit*. (I ain't gonna penalize the cat for betting on the game, those bets didn't make him hit the fuckin' ball any better.)

1. The numbers: 10, 14, 23, 26 and 42.

*Santo, Banks, Sandberg, Williams, Robinson

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