THIS IS 7TH HEAVEN!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Audrina Patridge

(sing the following phrase like you're Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music.)

The...hills are alive...with the sound of titties. They're hanging here and there all day long. What's gonna happen... if she slips that top off...Freddy's gonna sing another song.


Ohh...his mouth...will be full of Audrina Patridge titty....He'll suck...nibble and nuzzle all night long...Then in the morning...when she wakes...he'll be gone...out the door...she'll be alone.


Sexy 20-Something of the Week: Sophia Bush

Sophia Anna Bush was born July 8, 1982 (26) in Pasadena, California.

She attended USC and was a member of the kappa Kappa Gamma sisterhood, where she served as the social chair.

While attending USC, she was the Tournamnet of Roses parade Queen in 2000.

She made her film debut in Van Wilder and plays the
one-time-spoiled-rich-slut-who-has-made-it on-her-own-since-graduating
Brooke Davis in the WB's One Tree Hill.
She married OTH co-star Chad Michael Murray in April of '05 but seperated in September of the same year.
A few months after her divorce was final, rumors flew that she was dating/hooking up with Dallas QB and Eastern Illinois alum Tony Romo. These rumors started because they were seen together in Texas. Holy shit! If I'm at a Starbucks in Chicago and, I don't know, Erin Andrews walks in to get a venti, half caf/half de-caf, carmel mochiato, minus the carmel and the whip, are people going to start saying that her and I are getting it on? Didn't think so.
She supported the push for President Obama. Now, please enjoy the rest of the pics.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

please meet...

Natalia Vodianova



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Crush of the Month

So what that it's the middle of February and I am just now declaring my Crush of the Month. I'm not sure I even declared who my Crush of the Month was the last couple of months, so leave me alone. Anyway, my crush this month is Jodie Marsh.

Enjoy the pics.

Jodie was born December 23, 1978 (30) in Brentwood, Essex, England.

Being the bad ass that she is, when she was a young girl, she had her nose mangled in a hockey game. And because of this accident, she was the target of kids who, at the time, must not have hit puberty yet because they told her that she was ugly. This treatment caused her to consider suicide. And even if you didn't have surgery to fix it at 15, there would be no reason to worry Ms. Marsh, you'd still look beautiful.

She is a glamour model and t.v. personality. And she's been on way too many t.v. shows to list on the blog.

O.K., maybe just one. She was on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. She clashed with Pete Burns, Michael Barrymore and George Galloway because they tired of her discussing her sexual experiences.

She used to write a column for the celeb gossip rag Sneak until it closed up shop in '06. She was also sex expert for Zoo Magazine, writing directly for men and giving them ideas and advice.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I went to a party last night....

...and the first thing I see when I walk through the door is this! OK. Not really. But it would have been a whole hell of a lot cooler of a party if I did.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sexy 20-Something of the Week: Kayleigh Pearson

I'd like you all to meet Kayleigh Pearson.
Kayleigh was born June 25, 1985 in Bath, England.

Enjoy the pics.


While growing up, she was involved with gymnastics. And she was so good, she was running her own gymnastic class at the ripe old age off 11.
She studied Sports Science at University College Worcester.
Here come the boobies, er, the boobie.
Oh how nice.

Sexy 40-something of of the Week: Jennifer Aniston

If you don't know what a Two-Fer is, well, a Two-Fer is something you complete and finish two things while doing it. Today, boys and girls, we got a Two-Fer. Today is Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday, so congratulations are in order. And today also marks the day that she can belong to the Sexy 40-something club here at Head of Fred. Happy birthday Jen.






Monday, February 9, 2009

Fashion Tip #11

Granny panties are so 1993. If you own them, toss them in the trash. Buy a pair of thongs. Or at least a pair of little boy shorts. Please.

Again, Baby Spice is no longer a baby.

I said it before, today I'm saying it again: Baby Spice is no longer a baby. Her name is Emma Bunton and she's hotter than all hell. She might even give Posh a run these days. I mean, unless you like egotistical bitches who think that "common" folk would eat their shit. Not me.







Good Morning











Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Poor kid.

The poor little guy is a little messed up. I can remember having experiences like this. Those weren't from over medication by my dentist though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY....

...to ME, 31.
I'm getting fucking old.

Monday, February 2, 2009

All my friends were dead.

As we watched the rain through the windows of that old truck, driving the rocky gravel lanes, passing the bottle, stolen, and swiping drags from the snuffed out butt's in the tray, we often didn't speak to one another.

Old country: Cash, Jennings, Nelson, cried from the rusty speakers of that old Chevy and neither dared to change the station. We didn't really like the sound of the music that was playing, but we both understood what those old boys were preachin',

A twisting cloud of death would eventually destroy an old corn bin and toss tractors, trailers, children into neighboring counties. And for some reason, we still drove to our spot of silence.

That old lot, surrounded by the Elm and the Oak was gated off by the slow mumbling of the Aux Able Creek, where the dead of our community rested for years, decades, centuries, was our spot of comfort.

We'd sit, under the storm, with the dead, trying to depict their short stories that were engraved in the cement slabs at their heads and pretend that we actually knew how it really went down.

Hours atop hours, they'd stack like empty wooden crates on the docks, with the two of us talking with the dead, but never each other, sharing the pint and trying to find a way, the way, to not end up in a spot like the one that we sat at.

With lightning crashing into the tree's and thunder echoing screams between
John C. Jones/Christopher R. Kelly/Suzanne L. Bolze, we were soothed.

The old black cat, with only one eye, the left, would scamper out from behind the tomb house that held more of the dead just to see where the voices were coming from.

Headlights from Interstate 80 and Route 6 found their way in from time to time, bending around fence posts and through the trees. Nobody ever found us there. And they never will.

Perhaps that is why we went there anyway. So that we can both be alone with our minds, the forgotten dreams of the dead and the lost memories of love.

We did this every time it stormed. We did it to cleanse ourselves. And our minds.
But most importantly...

to leave it all behind with the dead that we called our friends...

where it belonged.

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