After realizing that he's really got no clue if anybody likes his lists on Friday's, Freddy decides to post a list with no half-clothed, gorgeous females. He'd really appreciate for those, if there are any, readers/viewers of the Friday lists made a comment every now and again. So onto todays list:
I'm sure that most have either heard about or seen the skit done, and repeated, by Conan O'Brien on his show, "In the year 2000." If you've got better things to do at 11:30 p.m., central standard time of course, or have lived on the moon these past eight years, I understand if you haven't. It's just a list of things that Conan is predicting for the year 2000. Oddly enough, it is 2008, and he is still saying, "In the year 2000." Whatever, it's his show and can run it anyway he seems fit. These are my predictions "For the year 2008."
10. After slumping New York Yankees pitcher Kyle Farnsworth intentionally throws at the head of Boston Redsox Manny Ramirez, a bench clearing brawl insues with all players, coaches and managers involved. Julio Lugo bashes LaTroy Hawkins with a water cooler. Coco Crisp is clubbed with a 34-inch bat by Alex Rodriguez. And Johnny Damon and Derek Jeter, both of the Yankees, fight each other for their lifestyle choices: getting married vs. staying single. Farnsworth and Ramirez stand by and watch.
IN THE YEAR 2000
9. An undiscoled amount of syringes, needles and pills are found in the basement of a suburban San Fransico womans home. The woman tells officers at the scene that "a very large fellow asked me to store his belongings" in the basement because he was going to be leaving the city for a period of time. If he was leaving the country was unclear, but the woman stated that the man said something about "Not going to Cooperstown unless he got some things cleaned up."
IN THE YEAR 2000
8. Chicago Whitesox fans finally realize that the last time they won a World Series was three seasons ago and move on with their lives and stop saying, "Oh yeah, well when was the last time your Cubs won a series?" to try and make whatever point they're trying to make more meaningful.
IN THE YEAR 2000
7. Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi compete once again. They play as doubles and take on Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova. After winning the first set, Agassi becomes angry at Sampras, stating that he's got a better view of Ivanovic's and Sharapova's asses then he does.
IN THE YEAR 2000
6. Julio Franco, 49-years old, finally retires from major league baseball. A week later, substantial evidence is provided to the main offices of MLB and is determined by the league commisioner that Franco is actually 87-years old and has been using HGH and other undisclosed narcotics to defy the aging process for the last 50 years.
IN THE YEAR 2000
5. Glen Allen Hill's home run ball that was hit onto the roof top of a building across the street from Wrigley Field on May 11, 2000, makes its way onto the infield grass of Wrigley. Nobody knows where it comes from, it just appears. The guy who caught the ball atop that five story building on the other side of Waveland said that he threw it back 10-seconds after catching it. All this proves is that there is indeed, a space time continum.
IN THE YEAR 2000
4. The cloning process of humans is finally completed and made possible to the general public. Immediately, owners of clubs across the land clone the best players of all time for their respected franchises. The Bears clone Payton. The Whitesox clone Fisk. The Cubs clone Sandberg. The Hawks clone Chellios. The Bulls clone Jordan. And in true cloning fashion, he still can't play baseball.
IN THE YEAR 2000
3. The Blackhawks Ice Crew is offered the opportunity to be in Playboy. Immediately after winning the "Ice Girl Challenge" for the sexiest ice girls for teams in the NHL, all 139 hockey fans across the nation pre-order a copy for themselves. Playboy founder Hugh Hefner declares bankruptcy after publication, citing that he put almost everything he had into the issue he was sure would be the publications #1 all time seller because of one of the Blackhawk rookie ice crew members. But he didn't realize that nobody really watches the game.
IN THE YEAR 2000
2. After a woman is put in office to govern the nation, either as President or Vice, women are urged to play for the NFL and make it a friendlier game. After almost scoring a touchdown on her first play from scrimmage, the lone female in football quits because her cleats dont compliment her eyes.
IN THE YEAR 2000
1. After 100-years of disappointing seasons and failed voyages to the promised land, the Chicago Cubs finally win the World Series. To show appreciation to the faithful, Tribune Company owner Sam Zell declares that he will change the name of Wrigley Field to "The Zell". He then takes all credit for the team winning the series. Civil protest breaks out and the entire portion of Chicago, north of Roosevelt road, breaks free from the rest of Chicago and declares itself the "City of Wrigley." They elect Ryan Sandberg mayor and send out a group of mercenary's for Zell himself. After finding him they dip him in concrete and place the statue next to Harry Carry at Addison and Waveland. If you look at it the right way, in the right sun, you see Caray bitch slapping Zell.
In the year 2000.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
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